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I Want To Be A Pickle Who or what defines you? by Paula-Beth Toller At the age of three, I had life all figured out. Yes, I realize it may seem hard to believe, but my destiny was set. I knew exactly what I wanted to be "when I grew up," and I was ready to share it with the world ... or at least with my mom and my brother while we were driving down the road. The words shot out of my mouth, probably out of nowhere, but with much passion nonetheless: "When I grow up, I want to be a ... PICKLE!!" I smile as I think back to that moment. You see, somehow, at the age of three, I had come to the realization that when you grow up, you don't just choose any occupation. No, you are supposed to become what you LOVE. And now, twenty years later, I have to stop and ask myself what it is that I truly love. I often feel defined by the role of the "minister's wife," or by the title I have at my secular job, and in return, I often feel very empty inside. Don't get me wrong — I adore my husband, and I'm thankful to have a job, but do I just want my life to be defined as a role or a title? Sometimes, life leaves us feeling empty. We begin to define ourselves by what we do, and at the end of the day, it leaves us wanting more. Jobs may come and go, but our relationship with the Lord is the one thing in our life that is constant. So on the days that I struggle with wanting more, my Jesus is reminding me to ask for more of Him; on the days that I feel empty, my Jesus is asking me to allow Him to fill me up; on the days when I feel like I have no purpose, my Jesus is reminding me to look beyond myself and to His plan for my life. I may think that plan is found through a specific company or a certain title, but it's not even that complicated, because I discover God's plan for my life simply by discovering Him. You see, as I am finally starting to "grow up," I realize that God doesn't see me as what I do or by who I am. Instead, my Jesus sees me as whose I am!