Consider Lily

Randomly throughout this year we will feature “Re-Considering Lily” where we will bring back by popular demand one of our previous topics. Sometimes the Consider Lily bloggers will add new comments and we will even invite previous bloggers to pipe in.

Okay sistas — So I have been wondering about this whole issue of letting the media push our clothing habits and whether or not we, as women, truly like wearing thongs? Before I launch into a subject that might be considered “risque,” let me explain. A couple of semesters ago, I was teaching the Seven Sides of a Woman’s Character Bible study to some female college students in the St. Louis metro-area. At one of the sessions, the issue came up about how women pressure other women to dress in a certain manner. (We often dress to impress other women as if we are in competition with them — most notably when in competition for male attention on campus, etc.) At any rate, the conversation veered off into the realm of undergarments as one student shared that her sorority required … yes, required its members to wear thongs (the reasoning for this requirement, I am told, was so none of their members would be on campus sporting panty lines). I was dumbfounded at how such a personal issue (as one’s undergarments) became a social requirement within the campus Greek system. I know that my sorority had some “dress codes” back in the day when I was in college, but I do not remember this being an issue. So anyway, the students at this Bible study launched into a discussion about their preferences for such undergarments. I know that Victoria’s Secret has added a whole new standard of what should be worn beneath the clothing, but I was just curious if any of you had any thoughts on this subject … any thoughts about any of this?

Way to dive right in, Rutz. We’re going straight to the big stuff: the female equivalent of the “boxers or briefs” question that cute guys from the WB have to answer during interviews for Teen People.

For the record, I do find VPL (visible panty line) to be a particularly heinous fashion faux pas. Equally as ridonkulous, however, is the idea that ANYONE should be told what type of underwear they should be sporting. Not to get too philosophical about thongs, but I think this question is a great example of culture squelching individuality. Are we so afraid of being “different” that we would allow someone else to tell us what kind of panties to wear? Or who to vote for? Or what to believe? Sadly, I think the answer might be “yes.”

I don’t believe there is an inherent morality to NOT wearing thongs … or a necessary lack of morality if one chooses to do so (I recommend the v-string). I DO believe that we will allow ANYTHING to legitimize our identity. At our core, without God, we are entirely driven by how we are perceived by others. Are you impressed with me? Do I fit it in? Am I good enough? If given an opportunity to belong we will often take it, lest we be rejected. The fact that this “fit in at all costs” mentality has worked it’s way all the way to UNDERWEAR is just proof of how great that pressure really is.

Since Nikki is clearly not giving her preference and Nicole only aluded to whether she actually “likes” thongs by saying she recommends v-string, I will boldly declare that I am neutral on the issue. When I think of putting on my most comfy clothes thongs do not necessarily make the list; however in a sleek dress or fancy pants, I feel much more “comfortable” in a thong … not to mention that sometimes how sexy you feel depends as much on what’s under your clothes as the clothes themselves. On the other hand, I HATE wearing a strapless bra, but sometimes the outfit demands it and such is the peril of womanhood that is not distinct to this Victoria’s Secret-crazed generation. Thank God Victoria’s Secret doesn’t sell a corset line.

As Nicole said, this need to control people down to their underwear, is a sad commentary on our society’s desperation to fit in, but before we judge the Greek system, I think churches have been equally guilty of controlling people right down to the beverages they drink, the movies they watch, the hairstyles they sport, etc. When our identities are not in Christ, we will create whatever boundaries needed to gain acceptance, and we will impose those boundaries on anyone with whom we’re affiliated. Whether we’re trying to fit in or be set apart, a wrong source of identity will always lead us to compromise individuality, values and even truth.

Well, girls, I have to confess that initially I thought I had no opinion on the whole thong issue. When Nikki posted it, I thought, “I don’t have anything to say about that.” (Heck, I remember when thongs were sandles you wore in the summer — OK, quit laughing!) I was surprised a sorority dictated underwear selection, but sadly it also occured to me that girls pressure other girls about what to wear all the time. Even now at 30-something I show up at social events and see women checking out what their friends are wearing, commenting about their fashion choices, and often saying things like, “I didn’t know you were going to dress up,” or “I thought you said you weren’t going to wear a shorts,” like changing your mind about a piece of clothing is some kind of betrayal. Give me a break.

I guess I don’t think much about thongs because I don’t think much about panties lines. Sorry, girls, if that makes you cringe. I’m just someone who really doesn’t notice details like that. I’m much more of a big picture thinker. But since it’s come up here on Consider Lily, I’ve been checking out my rear in the mirror before heading to work or church or Home Depot. I’ve also been casually observing other people (and blaming Nikki for the fact that I’m looking at other people’s behinds)! I think it’s OK to care about the way you look and dress, especially if that gives you confidence and the opportunity to express yourself and your creativity. But like many areas in life, too much compulsion about it is never healthy. And since I can never obsess about anything for too long (I just don’t think it’s in my nature), I’ll go back to not noticing and hope I don’t make a fashion blunder!

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Well, I was definitely not a part of the Consider Lily team when this subject was first posted, and so it’s taken me a while to respond because I first have to try to stop giggling long enough to complete a sentence. Hahaha…seriously? A sorority required their members to wear thongs? And the girls actually did it? I think that I am more astounded by the fact that the girls were actually okay with this standard. Though I am struggling to contain my giggle, I am also more than disturbed by the fact that many girls today don’t even consider their own desires in fear of going against the group/family/friends. Many of the clients I see in the counseling room today are middle-aged women who are still struggling to claim their own voice in the midst of the voices in their lives. Time and again, girls are more than willing to give up their own wants and needs for the sake of someone else’s feelings. The cost of this, over time, is too great for our hearts to bear.

Is the issue here really about what to wear? Is it a moral issue over whether the thong is a moral and acceptable object? I would argue that it’s more about how girls today are growing into women who have a voice, who are strong enough to stand against the tide of our culture, and who are capable of wearing their thongs proudly–because they enjoy them and not because they have to

This entry was posted on Sunday, November 15th, 2009 at 9:31 am and is filed under Body. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.