Consider Lily

I have been re-thinking Christmas…not like, should I celebrate Jesus’ birth, but HOW should I be celebrating? Does all the spending and over spending and credit card debt that Americans are famous for celebrate Christ? And what can I be doing to de-stress the holiday season, break through the clutter in my life and schedule, and take time to reflect on Christ, rest, and worship Him more? So what do you girls think? What are some practical steps to re-claiming Christmas, and what are your thoughts on expensive gifts and spending being at the heart of our Christmas?

It is so interesting that you are bringing up this topic here, as my extended family has been discussing this very issue a lot in recent years. I’m sure some of our other writers will have good suggestions about “practical” things to do, but my initial reaction is to examine what “traditions” one is engaging in each year and how they set the focus for the person. I know that we are talking about Christmas here, but by way of an example - last year, my aunt made a decision to start serving a Thanksgiving meal on Thanksgiving day to those without the means for such a meal. She serves with a group in her town that provides the meal each year and they serve hundreds of people throughout the day. By her doing that, we do not see her until Thursday evening now. Her decision really got me thinking. Kevin grew up serving/providing medical care to people in areas that do not have access to medicine (in a third world country). He was literally gone on Christmas Eve and day doing this - so he now has a hard time with all the “fuss” over “normal” Christmas celebrations. Part of that is his childhood experiences in always being on mission trips during Christmas -and part of that is simply his personal convictions. Definitely a lot for me to think about, personally.

I’ll keep thinking on this, Jenn. Thanks for raising the question.

I sense so many Christians asking this question at Christmas time — especially if we are plugged into commercial culture (watching tv commercials, reading advertisement fliers, receiving coupon code emails).

I’ve felt the tension between being Scroogey and legalistic towards keeping Christmas focused on Christ, and buying into (literally) the Christmas-equals-new-stuff mentality. Somewhere in the middle is a response that I think would honor Christ. That might look a little different for everyone.

For me, it means not giving store-bought gifts to every acquaintance or distant relative. I also opt out of any sales fliers and avoid sales “events” (simply because I know they make my heart covet lots of stuff I don’t have and suddenly think I need). I make cookies for the neighbors and write a personal note to them. This year, I considered the person I usually spend the most on (my husband) — and we decided to spend the least on each other … choosing 1 book and 1 new CD (two of our favorite common interests.) And we take special initiative to focus on Christ throughout the month, in personal study of the Word and in opportunities to serve others. I love Nikki’s idea about scheduling a way to serve on Christmas Eve or day.

I have heard of some really cool things that people do to honor Christ in this season. One revolutionary gift-shift that I love and hope to transition towards in the coming years is giving gifts “in the name of” loved ones. For instance, for $67 you can buy eyesight for a blind person in Cambodia. You fund the surgery through Alternative Gifts International, and then you wrap up a certificate for your mother or brother saying that someone received restored vision, in their name. How cool is that?! Here’s the website with lots of ideas and needs in all different countries — from healthcare to job training to a cow to feed an African family. http://www.altgifts.org/ You’ll be amazed at how many things $20 can buy — life changing things for people in need.

Another great resource is www.adventconspiracy.org. Jenn has some contact with these folks and can hopefully share more about that. Just a great place to refocus and get practical ideas for reclaiming the celebration for Christ!

What are some other ideas?

How cool you said Advent Conspiracy before I did! Yes, I was definitely headed there…and the video they made this year was the absolute best! Please go to the website and check it out (it’s so short, and kind of fun to watch. My kids even were glued to it.) The organization is Living Water, and my brothers are hugely involved in this, travelling around the world, drilling wells for villages and communities that don’t have clean water and are dying because of it. But they not only bring clean water, they bring the gospel and plant churches, and I’m telling you…the stories and the photos from these trips have knocked me over. They’ve kept me up at night. I’ve been so moved by this work. Advent Conspiracy just urges us to take the Advent season to focus on what’s important, ministering to those in need, not just getting more stuff. Speaking of Advent, that’s something we’d never really done before, but we are doing nightly Advent devotionals, and I love it! It has really drawn our focus daily to what Christmas is about.

Thanks, Allie, for the practical examples of what you are doing differently!

Wow - great stuff, you two! I’ll have to get back to you once I’ve gotten a chance to check out those sites! Added bonus with getting your sister the gift of restoring someone’s eyesight in Cambodia: she can’t return it for store credit. Bonus for getting MY sister that gift: she and I share a room when we’re at home. One more present in a foreign country = one less box to trip me on December 26th!

I heard about one couple that tried giving each other time and serving each other for Christmas (actually, I have a sneaking suspicion that it was one of you ladies who told me this, so stop me if it’s you). They gave each other a certain amount of time to do whatever chore or project the other wanted to do. If I remember correctly, they did things like clean the garage together and rake the leaves. In that example, I think that the couple gave each other a full day, but if you’ve got a big family, you could give people a few hours each. Even if that’s not the only present you give your loved ones this year, it could be a start - it’s a great way to get quality time together and either to invest in the things your loved ones care about or just to take care of that chore that’s been nagging at them!

I love Christmas. I love that is a time to celebrate the coming of Jesus AND I love the gifts (both the giving and receiving). I love stocking stuffers and creative gifting and Christmas cookies and yes, don’t throw stones, even Santa Claus. I love setting out the nativity scene and talking to the nieces and nephews about Jesus being born in a manger and explaining how much God loves us that he would send his Son to earth.
I love it all.

You guys are absolutely right that we need to question our focus…that we need to wrestle with balancing the extremes. Allie, I think you’re absolutely right that it will look different for everyone, and I loved your practical suggestions. We’ve started drawing names in our family, which keeps the expenses managable. A good general life rule, not just at Christmas, is not to spend money you don’t have, so if you’re a poor college student or a regular “jane” living on a budget, get creative with your “gifting”. Give time, talents, acts of service, etc.

Even if you spend wisely, give to charity in lieu of gifting, and look the other way when you see Santa in the mall, that still doesn’t guarantee you’ll focus more on Jesus. Just like every day of the year, our hearts are SO easily drawn to the things of this world, to the tyrrany of the urgent, and we must fight to keep Jesus at the center of our hearts and lives.

I agree KJ. And I totally love everything about Christmas too! We put so many lights on our house, we dont’ have to give people directions on how to get here. You can follow the glow. There are hundreds of things that make this time of year special. Doing Advent devotions this year for the first time has been very special! It has really helped us not just take off something, but put on worship. I’ve never done Advent before. I know this is not new. But for Baptists, it’s not traditionally emphasized in most churches, so it’s kind of new to me. We downloaded Advent devos from a Lutheran church website, got ourselves a wreath and some candles, and we light the candles for each week. We are learning the prophecies that foretold Jesus’ birth and how amazing it was to see them all fulfilled, every one! We also sing Christmas songs about Jesus during our Advent time. This has really drawn our hearts toward him and the anticipation of Christmas has been more about Him this year for me! It’s been exciting!

So what are you guys thinking we need to take off during this season, and what do we put on? (For example, as mentioned already, taking off excessive spending and putting on worship.) ???

I think we need to “take off” judgment of our family members. I confess that it is easy for me to want all of my family members (who I, actually, do really like to hang out with!) to see life the same way I do. As my views/opinions change as I get older, I want my family to see the world the exact same way that I do. What I miss in this approach to spending time with them is simply showing grace to them. It’s funny - at least when I look at my own life - how it is easy to have grace with some individuals and not on others. Why is it that it seems hardest to have grace with family?

My extended family is pretty large (my mom is one of 8 kids). As one can imagine, just about all view points, careers, walks of life, etc., are represented within that large group of people. This Christmas, I’m going to strive to focus on loving them right where they are at — understanding their viewpoints instead of pushing my own. So, to answer your question, Jenn, I guess the “taking off” I’m going to strive to do this holiday is the ever-so-subtle judging that is so easy to do when family members are shoved into small rooms with Christmas trees and dogs and kids running around…with lots of diffferent viewpoints being shared…

I love the balance that is evident in this discussion. And that was a great point, Nikki, about not judging other family members — even if they are all-Santa/no-Jesus focused. That’s what’s hard about making changes like giving charity gifts… others may not “get it” or appreciate the donation in their name. Even the gifts of time and service can be received awkwardly, so make sure to REALLY DO THEM and put the date on the calendar the moment the gift is opened. I think it’s a cool idea, as long as there’s follow-through.

And KJ, you’re right about the general wisdom of not spending money you don’t have. It doesn’t make sense for someone with NO job and school bills to spend the same as their parents do. But the cultural and peer pressures are definitely present. There have got to be some creative, inexpensive solutions — I would scour the internet for those and be realistic about my time and talents to get those gifts made or acquired.

I guess my encouragement for all of us is to be gracious, generous, and Christ-celebrating this season. Find what that looks like for you, and challenge yourself a little. Be an example or inspiration to someone who needs a practical picture (or “permission”) to start doing the gift thing differently. Don’t be afraid to be sentimental or crafty, even if that’s not your thing. Write a letter, say the words that are life-giving and Christ-honoring… “Thank you” or “I’ve always looked up to you” or “I love you.”

Merry Christmas!