Consider Lily

Hey friends,

So as you may have already heard, I have a job opportunity in a far away land (so far away, according to Kelly, that it is accessible by neither telephone nor air travel). The prospect of moving “ALL THE WAY TO ATLANTA” has brought me to a bit of a fork in the road. I have a lot to consider and want to make sure that I’m using wisdom. Wouldn’t it be great if there were a formula for big decisions? A two (or seven or even 20) step process that would AUTOMATICALLY lead us to the right answer if we just committed to the steps? I just feel like there are so many things to factor in and I’m not getting any clear answers. I thought I would pose the question to you brilliant women and see what your thoughts were on the subject. How do you face big decisions (job/school/relationship/etc.)? How can you be sure you’re doing the right thing? Are there any “secret tips” you could share with a sister?

Hey Sistas!

I think that Nicole raises some very good questions here. How does one make a major decision in life, when you want to ensure that you are following God’s leading in that decision? Besides the obvious steps (prayer, reading the Word, etc.), I wonder what kind of “peace” that you are feeling, Nicole, when you think about either answer to this decision that you must make? Does that make sense? In other words, do you feel more “at peace” with the thought of starting a new life in a new city, or more “at peace” with the thought of staying where you are currently? Or does neither option give you a peaceful feeling?

Nicole,
I have had a little experience on this one … In the last 12 years, we have lived in Waco, TX; Louisville, KY; Marietta, GA; and Fort Worth, TX. We are currently looking at a very good possibility of moving again to Houston, TX. (which I DO consider the foreign mission field) The #1 thing I can tell you is to look to His Word for guidance … it’s not a light unto our path for us to stumble around in the darkness. I have seen God lead me very specifically through His Word. The feelings/peace may come and go, and the circumstances may change. Ask Him what He wants you to do and sit in His Word until you are confident He has spoken. “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.” Be confident that you can hear Him; the enemy will cause you to doubt that the Lord really leads you personally in your life. The peace comes when you truly believe you are being obedient to His calling. Anxiety may still come (because we’re so in the flesh) regarding how it may all work out (buying/selling a house, new city/state, new church, new job, new schools …) Yet when we know we are following Him, we can confidently rest in His sovereign control of all the details. I can tell you He is amazing! I have been so blessed every time we have packed up and gone when He says “go.” (Exhausted, but very blessed.) Somehow, it makes it a little easier to go this time. Intensely seek His will through His Word, then confidently walk in it (whatever that may be). God bless you, as you seek to follow Him.

So cool reading your replies. As far as Nikki’s question about which idea (moving or not) gives me more peace, I don’t really think I can measure it by that … at least not right now. I have had some moments of confidence: “This is what I’m supposed to do … start packing.” So far, though, that confidence has been followed by doubt … and, honestly, worry: “What if I make the wrong choice?” “What if I take too long to make this decision?” “What If I leave and something terrible happens to me, or to someone I love, and I’m too far away to comfort them/be comforted by them?” (That one comes up a lot … I’m thinking of seeking out a worriers anonymous group.)

Peggy, your reminder that God REALLY DOES speak to us on an individual, personal basis was perfectly timed. Your post brought to mind a few very specific moments that I believe He has called out to me (often when my heart was desperate … or broken). Obviously, I’ve been praying about this decision to move, but when I read your post it prompted thoughts of how COMFORTING His voice is. Sometimes a whisper, other times a bull-horn (I’m stubborn), it is always SURE. God doesn’t “suppose” our future or what is best for us, He is SURE of it, even when we’re not. Thank you for the reminder.

… just want to say that I will sign up to be president of the “worriers anonymous” group …

Nicole: You’re obviously heading in the right direction with this — you’re seeking God. I think that you can trust what you are hearing from Him. (Even if there are a few of us that are praying frantically that you will hear that you need to stay in St. Louis … heh … heh …)

For me, I don’t question God’s goodness, that His plans are “to prosper me and not to harm me, to give me a hope and a future.” I question myself, that I am not hearing Him correctly, and maybe I’m moving on a whim instead of by the Holy Spirit’s leading. (Not to mention four children also.) That verse in my last comment reminds me that I DO hear His voice because I am His, and that I am not just psycho. (My children may tell you otherwise.) That is why I HAVE TO hear it from His Word. For me, I can be confident in His truth, and believe that He is leading me specifically in His Word. Then I take that verse or verses and cling to them when the doubts/questions/anxieties come. (And they will.) “Direct my footsteps according to your word …” (Psalm 119:133). “I rise before dawn and cry for help; I have put my hope in your word.” The Psalms are a great place for “putting your hope in His Word.” That’s my sermon for today. (-:
blessings,

I’m not really a “follow a whim” type of girl … I analyze everything, sometimes to the point that I am incapable of making a decision because I’ve analyzed it to death (analysis paralysis). I love what you’re saying about clinging to Scripture, and I certainly don’t want to sound like I’m saying “yeah, yeah, yeah … fine I should go to the Bible, but then what?!” I know that the Bible is our source for His truth, but are there “action steps” that you take when you’re looking for a solution? Do you talk to other people? Do you recluse? Are there specific people that you talk to and others that you avoid? Have you “thrown out a fleece” (asked for a specific/obvious “sign from God”)? Has that worked? Do you wait to act until you hear from God or do you act until you hear God tell you to stop?

Nicole: I think you ask really good questions here. Obviously, I think you can never go wrong seeking wisdom from others. You may find that you start to hear God more clearly as you seek out advice from those who have been in your shoes before. Of course, the biggest challenge for you will be to find people that will give you advice without bias. Those of us who know you and have the pleasure of living near you do not want you to go (that probably is evident by the whimpering and whining that everyone is doing upon learning that you might be moving!). I love your heart and the way that you are going after God and His will for you in this. I’ll try to not pray for “my will” (i.e., you staying here! ) and continue to lift you up to have discernment for His will. Either way, I know that God is leading you into an incredible season of life. And, truly, how awesome is that? That’s always good stuff.

So, a lot has happened since my last entry here. I found out that the job in Atlanta isn’t “mine for the taking.” There are other people who want it and they are being interviewed this week. It’s strange, but that realization FORCED me to come to terms with the fact that I really want this job! There are whole chapters that could be written (and have) about how/why we want things more once we know other people want them, too. While I recognize that tendency in my own life, I don’t think that is the case here. Once I heard that there were others vying for this position, I recognized that I was anxious I might not get it … and really — I might not! (Nikki and Kelly, stop cheering!!!)

On Friday I sat with a favorite friend of mine and talked about this possible move. She asked me why I wanted to go (not whining, just wondering) and the following honest feelings poured out of me: I think it’s time for me to be the woman that I have been becoming. I know it’s a jumbled idea, but there is truth in it (once you get past the Nicole-to-English language barrier). For the past four, or even five, years I have been transforming. It hasn’t all been pretty or painless, but it has definitely been important. I feel like now is the time for me to “go and be” the person that I have been in the process of becoming. It’s not that I can’t do that where I am, but there is something about getting away from the familiar, the habits, the routine …

As I have been praying about all of this, I keep coming back to Isaiah 41. It’s packaging is bold and brave but, in its depths, it’s about hope, protection, and promise. As I have been considering this life-change, I have been afraid. I have felt like I wasn’t up to the challenge, or that mistakes from my past would keep me from being able to really live, as I said before, like the person I feel like I have been becoming (especially away from the encouragement and accountability that I have here). In verse 13, God gets personal. He tells me He is MINE, that He is NEAR, and that He will HELP me.

If this job is offered to me I’m going to take it.

Nicole,

As your MOST biased friend, that can hardly breathe when I think about you moving, I have been amazed at how you have walked through this decision making process. Instead of compartmentalizing and putting this decision into some separate category of your life or even your faith, it seems to me you have pursued the heart of God, more so than an answer to your question of whether to stay or go, and in doing so have found His will. If they offer you this job, you will go as part of your pursuit of God and of continually becoming the woman he wants you to be. If they don’t (and dear God don’t let them:):):)), you will stay knowing that, like Abraham who was willing to sacrifice his only son as part of his pursuit of the heart of God, you were willing to follow God where ever He was leading you. You are at the place where neither fear/uncertainty or peace/excitement are your deciding factors, and I believe that is exactly where God wants each of us to be as we make both little and big life decisions.

Wow … reading some of these latest entries really humbles me this morning. Thank you, my Lily7 sisters, for blessing me with your words of wisdom and encouragement. Nicole, you especially touched my heart with the idea of being the “woman you are becoming.” That thought has really sat with me in these moments as I come to terms with the reality that I, too, have been in that season of life these past three years since we moved to St. Louis. The only difference on my end is that we are here to stay. So the challenge for me is to continue becoming right where God has placed me. (OK, I just realized that this dialogue is about you, Nicole, and not me so sorry for the personal insight … I can’t help it, I’m a verbal/word processor. ) But that said, I do think that God is preparing you (as I have said before) for an amazing new season of life. Your desire to go tells me that He is preparing you for some type of move. (And yes, Kelly and I will have many pity parties about this if you do actually leave good ‘ol St. Louie!) So I’ll be praying for His incredible will to be done in this particular job, as well as what He might be nudging you toward in the near future (whether or not the job comes through). Thanks for sharing this process with us, Nicole. You bless all of us with your transparent and very real friendship.

So … I got the job.

Yesterday was my big interview and by the end of it I was feeling pretty sure that they were going to offer me the position. As I drove away from the offices, I was surprised by the heaviness of my heart. Like I said before, I knew going in that, if the position was offered to me, I would take it. So why wasn’t I happy that things had gone well? Funny thing about “doing what you know is right.” It doesn’t necessarily mean that the follow-through will be easy. I immediately started mourning the idea of leaving my parents, my friends, my great neighbors … I don’t mean I was “sort of down” — I was boo-hoo-ing my way through Atlanta, girls. My dad called — I cried. My boss called — I cried (very quietly, to myself). I even cried when I called to set up a hair appointment for next Tuesday (you have no idea how hard it is to find someone to cut this mess). Things were NOT going well. I was being bombarded with doubt and fear … already feeling lonely and “utterly friendless.” And then I remembered that verse from Isaiah that was giving me courage in my last post: “DO NOT FEAR … I WILL HELP YOU.” (”Even if it seems hard, Nicole.” “Even if it seems impossible, Nicole.” “Even if it seems lonely.”)

So I’m going. And I’m scared. And I’m excited. And I’m already wondering what I’m going to wear to the first day of school … I mean work.

Thanks for sorting through this with me.

This entry was posted on Sunday, June 25th, 2006 at 10:09 pm and is filed under Mind. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.