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Amazing Grace by Serena Butler I’ve been thinking a lot about grace lately. What does it really mean? Do I truly understand the grace that God demonstrates to us through His Son, Jesus? Do I sometimes take it for granted? Do we, as the Church, take away from the power of grace by adding things to the gospel? Can we rest secure in the grace of God, or do we still try to gain favor with God through our actions? Funny thing, I recently taught a Sunday School lesson on the first two chapters of Galatians which is all about not adding stuff to the gospel. I began to think about the things that I have tried to add to the gospel throughout my life. Ouch!! I think the thing that I have been taught, or at least absorbed from somewhere, is that we can't do anything to earn salvation, but once you get it, you have to live a certain way to keep the grace flowing. Does that make any sense? It’s like once you become a Christian, you have this big list of rules to follow. Somehow it all gets mixed up in my head. In the denomination in which I was raised we are also taught that you can't lose your salvation. They would say that if you fall far enough away, then it must not have been real the first time around. So, in my head it seems like there are these two kinds of grace taught: 1) the grace that allows for salvation, but then, 2) the grace that somehow keeps covering us after our initial salvation experience. For some reason it seems like we have to work for the second one. I know in my head that grace is complete without our good works and there is nothing we can do to earn grace, but somehow the truth about grace and forgiveness haven't sunk into my heart yet. I've just messed up too many times to be able to work it all off. My human mind thinks that it is so unfair that He has to keep covering my sins. But you know what? The picture that just popped into my head is that He is smiling while He does it. When I sin and Jesus’ shed blood must once again wash away the guilt, He looks at me, with love in His eyes, and says, "It is okay. I love you. I’ll take care of it." And now I am crying...so maybe somehow the message is finally getting through. I just feel so depraved and unworthy. Somewhere along the line we, as Christians, put ourselves up on a pedestal because we think we live better lives than everyone else in the world. We live moral lives, obey the laws, give of ourselves to help others, and we think that somehow makes us better. We think, "If you will just follow Christ then you can be great like us. Come join the club. Don't you want to be like us?" Sadly, that message is totally wrong! Instead the message needs to be: "I don't understand it either, but for some reason God chooses to love us. If you only knew all the garbage in my life you would know there is no way that I deserve His love." And I suspect your story is probably like mine. But, ya know what? He loves you too! That’s the beauty of the gospel of Christ. We are more messed up (sinful) than we could ever imagine, but more loved that we could ever believe. God's grace covers all of it! He wants to take all that garbage out. You can't wash it off; it is stained too deep. But He can take care of it...you just have to trust Him to do it. And maybe more importantly, you have to believe that He can do it. I think a lot of Christians have a harder time hearing the message of the Gospel than non-believers because when we sin we think we should known better. It is somehow harder for us to return to the cross and accept the forgiveness that is waiting for us. I recently reread the story of Peter’s denial of Christ and I saw something I had never seen before. In Luke’s account of the story, Peter denies Christ the third time and "as soon as he said these words, the rooster crowed. At that moment the Lord turned and looked at Peter. Then Peter remembered that the Lord had said, ‘Before the rooster crows tomorrow morning, you will deny me three times.’ And Peter left the courtyard, crying bitterly." (Luke 22:60-62). I had always pictured Jesus looking at Peter with hurt in His eyes. But as I think about the character of Christ and the love He had for His disciples, I think He looked at Peter with tremendous love in His eyes. I think He silently said, "Peter, it is okay. I know you are scared. I know you love Me. I’m getting ready to take away your guilt and pain. I love you." There might have even been a slight smile on His face as an encouragement to Peter. If I were Peter, I would have run out of the courtyard crying, too. I don’t deserve the love Jesus has shown to me. I’ve denied and hurt Him so many times. But every time I turn to Him and ask for forgiveness, He offers it. Not reluctantly, but freely. Grace is truly grace when we come with nothing to offer accept our apology. We realize that we are not deserving of another chance. We know we can never make up for the wrong we have done. There aren’t enough good deeds in the universe to balance out the bad deeds of our life. But we come trusting, not fully understanding, but trusting that God has paid the debt, wiped the slate clean, and remembers no more. That truly is Amazing Grace. I don’t understand it. I can’t fully explain it. I don’t deserve it. I just believe it. And, yes I have experienced it. And it is truly humbling. Amazing Grace that saved, and keeps saving, a wretch like me.