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The Hiding Game by Kristy Wakefield "For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, "Abba! Father!" The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs--heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him." - Romans 8:14-17 "They promise them freedom, but they themselves are slaves of corruption. For whatever overcomes a person, to that he is enslaved." -- 2 Peter 2:19 I have this tendency within myself to hide the mess that I am and to disguise my imperfections from others. It’s like this deeply ingrained "hiding game." I do not know how many others can relate, but I’m sure there are some. I’m thinking I’ve been at this hiding game for awhile. I started to see the extent to which I played this game over several different days in which I experienced such sadness of knowing the extent of my mess and brokenness before the Father. It made me completely sad to think about how broken and in need I am. The outward expression of myself does not match the inner reality of my soul. I pretend to be so together, when I am truly in such great need on the inside. It’s okay to be in need of God. In fact, God created us, and He is not at all surprised at our need for Him; in fact, it is our need that draws us closer! Hiding my brokenness from others accomplishes another unexpected feat: it hides the child of God I am as well. It may be successful at hiding many unattractive things (though not as successful as I’d like!), but it is also very successful at hiding ME, as God created me to be. It is hard to be known if you do not put yourself out there. Putting yourself out there means you have to be vulnerable and take a risk. With this risk, you risk people seeing the real you, flaws and all. However, if you don’t put yourself out there, you risk never being known, never influencing or being influenced by others, and not experiencing the true community God designed in relationship between His creation. God made me ("fearfully and wonderfully" -- Ps 139, "chosen and precious" -- 1 Peter 2:4) and I am HIS. I am FREE to truly be who He created me to be. I was not put on this earth to display amazing self-control or to attempt perfection out of personal will and self-determination (i.e., out of pride; and what a silly pathetic attempt it would be, or honestly, often is, anyway!). (This should be freeing!!!) God made us unique and free and in His image. So why do I live so much like I don’t know this? The reality is that I think I believe this truth, but I don’t know it. I like being my own ruler because it allows me to portray who I want to be on the outside. Letting God really have the reigns would mean letting go of the things I like to hide behind...the things I like to hide. But as I am more confronted with the truth of the Gospel, of my own sinfulness and God’s greater love and grace, I see that the hiding game only makes things worse. I think it’s time to risk vulnerability and time to step down from trying to be god. I am assured that beautiful FREEDOM to be His is worth the risk! "But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." - 1 Corinthians 15:57 "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." -- Romans 8:37-39